Thursday, April 4, 2013

Real or Fake?

Although it might be the name of a very amusing game you can play while on the DC Metro, when it comes to weddings the question “real or fake?” applies to what, exactly, lies on a ring bearer’s pillow. You’ve already learned that, when it comes to flower girls and ring bearers, the former cry while the latter freeze. So, what does that mean for whether the ring on your ring bearer’s pillow is real or fake?

It means that you must account for the possibility that 1) the ring bearer and accompanying pillow might not actually make it down the aisle or 2) the ring becomes dislodged from the pillow when someone (bridesmaid or mother of the boy) tries to jostle him down the aisle.

Yep, that’s right, when it comes to the ring you put on the delicate pillow you send down the aisle with your ring bearer, you must consider yourself as playing both the “real or fake?” game and a ring toss. Those two games are exactly what you wanted to play during your ceremony, right?

Probably not. In fact, I’m almost positive that worrying about where the rings are during the ceremony is the LAST thing any couple wants to worry about. For that very reason, we recommend not sending the rings down the aisle with a ring bearer, but instead trusting them to a responsible member of the wedding party. Note: the definition of responsible includes someone old enough to care for those rings until they’re on the appropriate fingers.

So what, exactly, do you send down the aisle with the ring bearer? Most children like to feel important and as though they are a true participant in your wedding; therefore, not having anything for a ring bearer is unlikely to fly with him, particularly in light of the fact that the flower girls will be holding (of course) flowers. Because of that, we recommend always giving a ring bearer a pillow or something else to hold and carry down the aisle.

However, HJ’s little secret is that we recommend nothing be on that pillow. Buying a fake ring is a waste of money (although usually a very small amount). Why put any money into something that you’ll likely toss away immediately after the ceremony? Moreover, buying a fake ring is unnecessary because nobody (and we mean nobody) looks at the ring bearer’s pillow. In fact, if any guest mentions the lack of something on the pillow to you at your reception, you’ve our permission to point-blank state that you hope that the lack of a ring on the pillow didn’t ruin their enjoyment of your marriage ceremony.  

I also must mention here that most parents of ring bearers are quite glad that they’re not responsible for your expensive rings in addition to their child. Most parents have enough on their hands caring for their son and working to ensure that he actually walks down the aisle. To them, not needing to worry about your expensive sparkler is a blessing. 

Yes, he's adorable,
but do you trust him with your diamond?