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| Whoa, that's a large bridal party. |
Way
back when (well, when Queen Victoria sat on the British Throne, actually), a
couple’s wedding attendants weren’t necessarily relatives or friends of the
betrothed couple. What they always were, though, was important.
Historically,
a couple’s wedding attendants were asked to participate so as to act as a
symbol of the power of the families of the marrying couple. Having more
attendants showed more 1) strength in being able to command a person’s presence,
2) money in being able to dress and feed more people (yes, the bride’s family
paid for all the bridesmaid’s dresses back then), and 3) power by knowing more
people to invite to the event. It was one of the few times where more actually equaled
more.
It
didn’t matter if the attendants were personal friends or relatives of the bride
or groom; in fact, it didn’t matter if they knew them at all. This is because
the higher a person’s status, the more important the event and, by correlation,
the marrying couple. Therefore, the highest level of the bride and groom’s acquaintances
were usually invited to participate. In turn, those individuals from whom a
family wished to disassociate themselves or, at the very least, hide their connection
to, were excluded from the couple’s attendant lists.
*Note:
they still had to know them somewhat; one couldn’t approach the Queen and ask
her to walk before you down the aisle without being at least introduced…
Talk
about a not-so-subtle way of showing who the couple and their families thought
the crème de la crème!
Have
you noticed that at no point so far I used the term “bridesmaid” or “groomsmen”?
Not only did those terms not exist back then, but, when they finally did appear,
were quite literal. A “maid” was actually the maid a bride used to help her get
ready for her wedding. Usually, this was the household’s “ladies maid”, but because
of the special day a “bride” was typically given her own maid for assistance. A “groomsman”, likewise, was the male servant
who dressed the groom.
Why?
Clothes back then were a tad more difficult to put on and off (no zippers, no
elastic…). A well-dressed man or woman, therefore, literally might not be able
to get dressed without some help.
As
clothes became less difficult to wear and as the use of personal servants
declined after World War I (the first due to the shortness of fabric and the
latter due to casualties), the terms “bridesmaid” and “groomsmen” appeared (the
latter appearing more in terms of the direction to who it was aimed than in the
true sense of being a new word). This time, however, they were directed to
different people, meaning non-servants.
Because
maids were no longer the norm, brides began to ask friends and relatives to
help her dress on her big day – essentially because, despite the changes in
society, wedding dress designers insist on having their garments be virtually
impossible to don single handedly, even today. Help was needed, but “help” in
the form of in-house servants wasn’t around, so bride’s naturally turned to close
acquaintances.
Close
acquaintances? Yep! Attiring oneself in wedding gear means undressing, a quite
personal thing. Therefore, most brides and grooms wanted someone they were
comfortable undressing in front of to help with them dress for their weddings.
Over
time, what started out as a symbol of power turned to one of basic need.
Today,
the basic need still exists, but – true to modern-day form – brides and grooms
have made that need fun! Most bridal parties consist of close family members
and friends. Moreover, as society evolves, the traditional gender lines that
dictated women on the bride’s side and men on the groom’s no longer apply.
Phew…we’ve
gotten this far…I’ll let it sink in. Tune in next week to learn about
traditional and modern-day attendant/bridesmaid/groomsmen duties. What they
were and how they’ve changed just might surprise you!
