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The
time between engagement and wedding is, perhaps, the time when most brides will
be more spoiled than ever before in their lives. And, while the fruits of this “spoiling”
are also intended for the groom, in all honesty most grooms rarely revel to the
same extent in the glassware, home furnishings and other received gifts as do
their future spouses.
Moreover,
unlike a bride, a ring is usually the single piece of jewelry a groom receives
to celebrate his nuptials. While most brides receive two rings along with
earrings, bracelets and necklaces to adorn themselves with on the big day, grooms
often walk down the aisle with bare hands.
Which
is why, dear brides, a groom’s wedding ring is extremely important. For this
reason, HJ recommends that couples put thought, energy and effort into
selecting the groom’s ring – the same amount of thought, energy and effort that
goes into selecting the bride’s ring(s), to be specific.
This
may sound obvious, but when couples enter a jewelry store – often the same one
where the bride-to-be’s engagement ring was purchased and where the bride’s
wedding band is intended to be purchased – looking for a ring for the groom, it
becomes quite obvious why we urge this. Simply – most jewelry shops have far
fewer men’s wedding bands than women’s.
When
my husband and I married, we selected and purchased our wedding bands together
from the same store where my engagement ring had been purchased. Our jeweler
spent a good 45 minutes showing me bands that matched my engagement ring,
selecting the size and fit for my band and preparing our order (note, that’s an
extremely short time, many brides take much longer). But when it came to my
then-fiancé, now-husband’s turn, the jeweler simply pulled out three small
display boxes, each of which contained approximately ten rings.
My
husband selected a ring and loves it. However, it was quite humorous when, not
three months later, we learned that his cousin had selected the very same ring
as he had – despite the fact that we live thousands of miles apart.
Small
world? Maybe. But a much more likely explanation is the fact that there are far
fewer choices for men’s wedding bands than for women’s. This doesn’t
necessarily mean that there are fewer rings available, but rather fewer rings
that are suitable for a specific groom. For example, once narrowed down by
metal type, size, and type of decoration desired on the ring (none) my husband
had approximately three rings from which to choose.
Selecting
a man’s ring has a different process than choosing a female’s. Whereas for
females the first question is décor, for men it is size. This is because, for
men, size often determines the type of metal available for the ring; the sheer
cost of a ring in the size needed may make the cost of the ring untenable if
made in, say, titanium.
The
next concern is whether the type of metal can be polished. Generally, men’s
rings take much more wear-and-tear than rings worn by females. This isn’t because
men are clumsier or less careful than females, but rather because having a flat
surface means that men’s rings are scraped and scratched across surfaces more
frequently than women’s rings.
The
third concern is band width. Whereas for females this concern is often higher
on the list, band with for men only becomes an issue after the metal type is selected.
Why? Companies often make only two or three different widths, none of which may
be uniform to the widths created by other companies.
The
final concern is décor. Does the groom want diamonds, etching, a monogram or
nothing at all on his finger?
After
answering these questions and whisking away all of the unsuitable rings, many
brides and grooms are faced with less than five options. Sometimes, none of
these options may be particularly appealing.
The
solution to limited selection is to visit other stores or even to shop online –
if only to obtain an understanding of what else is out there.
Now
brides, we ARE going to admit that getting your fiancé to shop around with you
for a ring for HIM is going to be quite difficult. However, it’s completely
worthwhile - you can tell him HJ says so.
I’m
not saying we made a bad purchase in my husband’s ring; his ring is amazing and
he loves it. But now, looking back, perhaps we should have shopped further.
After all, he wears his ring every day, all day, but made his decision from
limited options, especially compared to my choices.
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