Theme
weddings have been occurring more frequently lately, a fact that we
simultaneously love and dislike. Before choosing to have a theme wedding, we
recommend that our couples think long and hard about what, exactly, throwing a
theme wedding means.
Before
going further, it’s necessary to explain what a theme wedding is not. A theme
wedding is not one in which a color scheme, pattern, or other decorative
element is carried throughout the event. That scroll work you love and have put
on your invitations, menus, and the ribbon on your bouquets? That’s not a
theme, that’s a décor element.
A
theme wedding is one in which a main idea covers the entire event. We like to
define it as a “noun that decorates your wedding.” If you remember back to
elementary school English class, a noun is a “person, place, thing, quality, or
idea” (at its most basic definition). “Circus” is a noun because it identifies
a thing; therefore, a “circus” can be a theme. Scrollwork does not fit within
any of the definitions of a noun, so therefore it’s not a theme.
Okay,
enough English lessons (it’s still early in the day, I know). What I hope you
take away from that mini-lesson is that throwing a theme wedding means having a
noun dominate every aspect of your planning. Does that sound like a lot of
work? It most certainly can be!
There
are two general rules for planning a theme wedding:
The
theme must dominate and be pervasive. The theme you select must be apparent and
present in every aspect of your décor – from main elements (tents) to small
items (glassware or escort cards). Subtle hints, décor, or other indications of
a theme almost always fall short of and leave guests confused: “Why was there a
circus billboard as our table number when everything else was pastel colored?”
The
theme must be apparent. Remember the noun rule – any theme must be easily
identifiable.
Now,
for what it means, exactly, to throw a theme wedding:
You
will have to always keep that theme in mind. Not only in terms of whether
something you want will fit the theme in terms of color, size, or function, but
whether it will look right doing so.
You
will have to put the theme first in everything. This means that your theme will
have to dominate your choices. For example, you probably shouldn’t pick a
circus theme if you don’t want your bridesmaids to wear bright colors.
Everyone
else will have to be on board. You and your fiancé must be on the same page
regarding the theme, otherwise it just won’t work. If your fiancé hates clowns,
you can’t have a circus-themed wedding because he won’t want to pick anything
that matches the theme.
You
will likely get sick of the theme. We’re sorry to admit it, but the all-out
dominance of the theme often means that couples never want to see anything
having to do with that theme ever again, or at least not for a few months after
the wedding.
If
you’re debating whether to have a theme wedding, consider:
Whether
you really like your chosen noun enough to have it be the focus of your
wedding. We hate to admit it, but a theme wedding can somewhat overshadow the
couple.
Whether
you really like your noun enough to have it appear in your photos. Photographs
of your wedding are permanent and can’t be redone. It’s also impossible to have
your photos NOT show your theme (remember the pervasiveness of your theme).
Make sure you want to always remember that theme for the rest of your life.
Whether
you really like your noun enough to have it be your main thought throughout the
entire planning process.
Whether
everyone involved in wedding planning is on board with your chosen noun.
Uncertain
about a theme wedding? Let the idea ruminate in your mind for a few days or
weeks. If you’re still unsure whether a “night in the clouds” theme is right
for you after thoroughly thinking it through, it most likely isn’t.
