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| Can you imagine organizing Princess Diana's processional? |
With
today’s increasingly complex family structures becoming more, well…complex,
couples are turning to us more frequently for advice on how to organize their
processional. As an example of just how complex a processional can be, Emily
Post’s Wedding Etiquette contains 15 entries regarding the subject; it’s no
wonder brides and grooms are confused.
In
a traditional Protestant, Roman Catholic, and Episcopal wedding, the simplified
order is:
Grandparents
and other honored guests
Parents
of the groom
Mother
of the bride
Clergy
(may enter at altar)
Groom
and groomsmen (may enter at altar)
Bride’s
attendants
Maid
of honor
Ring
bearer and flower girl
Bride
and escort
Phew,
that’s a lot! Since this is a “simplified” version, too, it omits many
important details that your wedding coordinator manages, such as when the groom
and best man enter and when the music that accompanies the attendant’s progression
begins.
Today,
though, couples can have two sets of parents, step-parents, adoptive parents,
grandparents, important relatives and friends, and step-grandparents that must
be accommodated. Have no fear, we can help you ensure that everyone gets down
the aisle in a manner that not only looks nice, but is also swift and easily
understandable. There are, however, a few rules before we dive into these
options:
- Family members or friends who are unable to make it down the aisle on their own for whatever reason must be provided an escort and additional time to make the walk and be gently seated
- Young children, younger than the age of three, should be accompanied by an adult – they usually don’t make it down the aisle on their own otherwise
- Timing is somewhat important. The closer to when the bride enters, the more special the person is.
- The rule of the day is “realistic”. If your step-mother or mother is going to have a conniption about their position in the processional, it just might be easier (for your sanity) to limit the processional to the members of the wedding party, read: bridesmaids and groomsmen. Although this might not be what you want, it could save headaches.
Okay,
let’s begin:
Step-grandparents:
unless you are extremely close to them, they don’t traditionally walk down the
aisle. However, if you would like them to, have them enter before your
grandparents are escorted.
Step-mothers:
presuming that she is not escorting the bride down the aisle, a step-mother can
enter after grandparents, but before the bride’s mother. She may be escorted by
an usher, groom, or the bride’s father, if he is not walking her down the
aisle.
Step-fathers:
may escort the bride’s mother down the aisle. If the bride’s mother is walking
the bride down the aisle, step-fathers usually do not join in the processional
unless accompanying a grandparent.
Very
close friends and relatives: after grandparents, but before parents.
Adoptive
parents: the same as a parent. If a bride or groom has adoptive parents and
biological parents, who enters first depends on which set the couple is closer
to. If the couple is closer to the adoptive parents, they enter closer to when
the bride enters.
Step-
or half-siblings: usually do not participate in the processional unless they
are a member of the wedding party.
With
these options, a modern-day processional in which a bride’s father is escorting
her down the aisle could look like:
Step-grandparents
Grandparents
Very
close family members and friends
Parents
of the groom
Step-mother
of bride and escort
Mother,
and step-father (if applicable) of bride
Clergy
(may enter at altar)
Groom
and groomsmen (may enter at altar)
Bride’s
attendants
Maid
of honor
Ring
bearer and flower girl
Bride
and escort
Or,
for a mother and father both escorting the bride:
Step-grandparents
Grandparents
Very
close family members and friends
Parents
of the groom
Step-mother
of bride and escort
Clergy
(may enter at altar)
Groom
and groomsmen (may enter at altar)
Bride’s
attendants
Maid
of honor
Ring
bearer and flower girl
Bride
and mother and father
For
a couple with a set of adoptive parents:
Step-grandparents
Grandparents
Very
close family members and friends
Parents
of the groom
Biological
mother of bride and escort
Biological
father of bride
Adoptive
mother of bride and escort
Clergy
(may enter at altar)
Groom
and groomsmen (may enter at altar)
Bride’s
attendants
Maid
of honor
Ring
bearer and flower girl
Bride
and adoptive father
The
rule is to do what makes sense and is efficient!
