The
tradition of giving a gift to bridesmaids evolved from the bride providing her
attendants with dresses to wear to the wedding ceremony. Remember the
dress-the-bridesmaids-the-same-as-the-bride-to-fool-evil-spirits trick? It was
that trick that prompted brides to gift bridesmaids anything at all: not only
were wedding-appropriate gowns rare in the days of hand-spun cloth, but
multiple women having the same exact dress was pretty much impossible, unless
the bride created the dresses herself. Additionally, it was nice for your girlfriends
and female family members to put themselves in the way of evil spirits, right?
For doing so, they definitely deserved a new dress.
As
the industrial revolution reinvented the way clothing was made and allowed for
off-the-rack dress purchases, the tradition of bridesmaid gifting didn’t disappear.
Instead, the type of gift given changed from one of necessity (read = wearing
clothes in church) to accessory (read = handkerchiefs).
Yes,
handkerchiefs. Those little swaths of linen were (and still are) the
traditional bridesmaid gift. This was because a bride could create numerous
delicate, personalized handkerchiefs for her bridesmaids that could match any
attire and be useful.
Did
you catch that word? Useful
Today,
that word is still foremost in most brides’ minds when giving gifts. To us, this
is awesome because “use” rarely factors into any other gift giving event. To
bridesmaids, however, this is usually less awe inspiring because “use” does not
easily translate to any time after the wedding.
A
handkerchief is a beautiful, traditional, and very handy (get it?) gift.
However, how many of your bridesmaids now use the more-modern Kleenex in lieu
of linen? We’re guessing quite a few.
If
you want to gift a useful and thoughtful present to your bridesmaids to thank
them for their service, consider their lifestyles. Will they really wear a hot
pink shawl ever again? Do they write a lot of thank you notes, thereby
warranting that stationary? Does a monogram jewelry box match their home décor?
If not, consider these options:
The
bridesmaid dress. More and more brides are actually paying for their
bridesmaids gowns. We love this idea, especially since very few dresses
actually fit into the category of “being wearable after the wedding”. (We know
that this statement is not a popular one, given that it is claimed by many
brides. However, it is a very honest one, because we, in our experience, have
found that very few bridesmaids re-wear their dresses). Regardless of whether
the dress actually fits into the re-wearable category, however, we’ve learned
from the bridesmaids in our weddings that a bride’s covering this expense is
always appreciated.
Hair,
makeup or nail services. We must admit that this gift is less altruistic than
it seems. Brides who really want their bridesmaids’ hair, makeup or nails to look
a specific way might consider gifting a spa day for their attendants. Time in
the spa gives a bride the opportunity to spend time with their friends and
family and achieve the perfect look for their group.
Brunch,
lunch or some other meal. Treating your bridesmaids to a meal is always an
appreciated “thank you” gesture. Not only do your bridesmaids get to eat, drink
and be merry together, but they also get to be merry with their bride-to-be
friend. A bride might consider giving a short toast to make the time extra
special.
Individualized
gifts. Nothing says that all bridesmaids must receive the same gift. Being able
to pick and choose what you give each individual bridesmaid makes it easier to
select something that is actually “useful” to her. If you’re uncomfortable with
each gift being different, wrap each item similarly in one of HJ’s gift bags from its Charmed line.
If
you’re the traditional sort, go ahead and gift those handkerchiefs. After all,
giving a gift is always generous, and any bridesmaid who scowls at the gift
horse might just need to be moved to the back of the processional.
