You’ve had the wedding of your wildest fantasies; you’ve married the man or woman of your dreams; everything you ever wanted for your nuptials went off without a hitch; your house is stocked with new gadgets and fun things to start off your married life.
Life is AMAZING.
But, you just might not realize that AMAZING-NESS in the days following your wedding.
The post-wedding bummer session that most couples experience after their wedding is a difficult topic to raise and discuss. In fact, many brides and grooms might scoff at the idea that it actually exists. (I mean, we just got married!) However, it DOES happen, and OFTEN; it’s just one of those things very few people talk about (meaning that if you agree with me on this issue, you’re not alone).
The post-wedding bummer is not due to the fact that either member of the couple is mad at the fact of now being married – quite the opposite, actually. Rather, it’s due to the fact that they don’t know what to do with themselves anymore. Considering that for the past 5-12(+) months of their relationship they have focused on tasks pertaining to their wedding, it’s not completely unimaginable that a couple would wonder how to fill their time now that the said wedding is over.
Why are we raising this issue now? Well, it’s nearing the end of the official “wedding season” as the media and industry says (although we here at HJ haven’t found that the end of the supposed season ever really happens, but we must admit that in the past eight weeks we carried out the success of 10 weddings).
I’m also raising this issue now because (for some reason) the FRIENDS episode when Monica is mad at no longer being a bride the day after her wedding is stuck in my head (“That’s right, I’m not longer a bride…now I’m just somebody’s WIFE!”). And…I’m also writing about this topic now because I recently remembered that the day after my wedding I went home and took a nap; can you think of anything more anti-climactic?
So, just what is a bummed-out couple or individual to do? Here are a few hints:
1. Use the terms “husband” and “wife” everywhere. Who cares if it annoys anyone or everyone? Ideas: order for each other in a restaurant: “my husband will have the chicken”; tell your doorman what you are making your “wife” or “husband” for dinner or desert; discuss weekend or, if here in D.C., post-Sandy cleanup strategies with random strangers. (As a note, the term “spouse” is equally as satisfying).
Why – because that’s what you are now! Someone’s husband or wife! Revel in and embrace it. Shouting it to the rooftops helps you be excited about your changed status rather than bummed about the fact that all that remains on your To-Do list is to get your wedding dress preserved.
2. Brides, wear your wedding finery around the house. EVERY BRIDE DOES IT. If you’re too lazy to don your entire dress, toss on your veil or shoes and parade around the house. Trust us, your spouse will totally understand and just might join in on the fun. Wearing your garb extends the feeling of fun you had and lets you wear those special items just one more time. (Here again, remember the FRIENDS where Monica, Phoebe and Rachel sit around in wedding dresses and veils. Kudos to the bride who does dishes in their dress (wearing gloves)).
3. Use wedding gifts to create a magnificent dinner or something special. It’s new, and was gifted to you for your wedding! Let’s check out what our new blender/slow cooker/pasta maker can do!
4. Gather every photo you can (thank you, FaceBook!) and create a slideshow. Insert funny comments and share with your friends and family, or just remember it all together.
5. Call your friends and family and reminisce. The simple sentence: “I know it just happened, but I want to talk all about it!” is more than sufficient to get whomever is on the other end rolling away with stores about things you might have missed or stories you didn’t know.
6. Meet with your wedding planner for coffee (perhaps not on the day immediately following your wedding, we’re pretty tired then) to discuss everything. Your planner is the person who was with you the entire time and will know the most – and perhaps be the most excited about discussing everything with you!
Don’t dread the bum-out, embrace it!